If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
