You're completely useless in the revolution.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
