never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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