Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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