would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize