yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
