So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
