Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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