You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
