he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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