Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
