i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
