I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
my shit smells like andre
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
