She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
