I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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