fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
