Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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