I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Where is the hickey?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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