I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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