he puts the penis in happiness.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize