Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
