I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
