oh god the rape fog is back!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
