he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
