Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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