..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
love makes seman taste better
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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