You just made me feel so damn special
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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