if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
