why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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