I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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