some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
