Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
