Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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