She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
