come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize