I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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