Can Purell be used as lube?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
