I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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