Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
