There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
