i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
