I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
