I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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