I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
