i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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