I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
