well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
