I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize