theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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