She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
