I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
