She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize