I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize