was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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