I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
