Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Someone came in the potted fern
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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