I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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