I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
